back

Mr. Yakamoto just turned 72 years old!  Amazing.  I notice that he has been drinking a lot of carrot juice and now I know why.  We are going out tonight to celebrate.  We are going out the famous carrot juicing center in Kumamoto and then off to tour an old age home.  He is looking forward to it.  

I just had another fabulous game of golf.  I didn't shoot that well scoring a terrible 73, or was it a 97.  I think I will stick with the 73.  It's not winning but playing the game well and winning.  I had some good shots, more bad than good though.  We had two different caddy ladies.   Both of them were oba san's.  This means old women.  My student, Sasa san, wasn't pleased with the ladies.  "Not pleasant on the eyes."  Is what he said.  I had to agree with him.  When you go out and play golf in Japan; golf is just one of the many things that you enjoy.  The serenity of the course, being around like minded people who's lifestyle you would love to get accustom to, and the beautiful caddy lady who you can flirt with and make you feel like a young pervert again instead of an old one.  (Most of the golfers here are old men, just like back home.)

One thing that I thought was great was the electronic safe in the lobby.  You put your golf score sheet that is in-closed in a green leather sheath wallet that has a bar code on the front with you name and designated number.  You flash the bar code over the bar scanner on the front of the safe and punch in a number of your choosing.  Then an automatic machine drives the safe around to an empty slot and opens.  You put your wallet in and presto.  It's in the safe along with everyone else's wallets in small designated slots.  It is kind of like a candy machine.  Very strange.  They also have electronic lockers that you put in your a number instead of a key.  Only in Japan.

back

My Scooter just threw a rod, well, a drive belt.  It was a drive belt not a rod.  But a rod sounds so much better.  I was commuting to work on the street rocket as I like to call it, when I came to a set of red traffic lights.  These lights are like any other traffic lights except that today they were special traffic lights.  They had trolls in them!  Yes it's true.  Japanese trolls living in the traffic lights effecting commuters like me by throwing rods, well drive belts.  The lights turned green, I revved the street rocket up to full velocity and then wam!  Well it was more like vrooooom.  The street rocket didn't move.  

Stuck in the middle of traffic hunched forward awaiting the thrust of acceleration looking like a fool.  Vrooooooom of the engine was all that happened.  I pulled the bike to the side of the road revving it in denial, not knowing what to do or who was responsible for this.  Someone had to pay!  I knew it was going to be me.  It's always me.  Paying for everything: gas for the street rocket, rent, food, my new MD Player.  I need a rest damn it!  Why can't someone else pay for once!  Why can't the guy at the gas station give me a free refill in my tank!  Just once damn it!  Doesn't he have a soul!  Where did it go?  Give me the cash man!

This is going through my head as I'm pulling the commuter demon back to my abode.  I pull up to a phone booth, dig in my pocket and all that came out was a 100 yen piece, not worth it to use that much coin to make a phone call to work to say that I'll be late.  A costly mistake indeed.  I carry on pulling my bike towards home in the hot, humid weather not knowing what was in the fridge to quench my thirst. 'Keep moving', I tell my self.  'Maybe I'll have a snack when I get home as my reward for being a target from the trolls.'  I finally drag the demon back to the house: climb the stair case leading up to my apartment.  I enter  drenched in sweat.  

After getting changed from my 'monkey outfit' into my 'climbing Mt. Fuji attire:' eating a banana and watching a bit of TV: I head out on my gomi (garbage) bicycle.  I called the school before I left to say that I was going to be late.  They were not pleased.  Work comes first.  If you get into an accident they would rather have you come to class bleeding from every orifice than to miss work.  This is how we get our Sony Walkmans and Toshiba Laptops!  From bleeding corpses I tell you!  Struck down in their prime to make electronic equipment!

After riding my dilapidated bicycle to work I finally get to class, I'm 40 minutes late and drenched in sweat.  I am thoroughly exhausted and I haven't even started my day at the grind.  "Are you alright?" My assistant teacher asks me.  All the students are looking at me.  45 of them.  All with a look of amusement and curiosity.  I have never seen them look so perky.  Sweat is streaming off my face.  My clothes are soaked with sweat.  "Are you going to have a heart attack?"  He says with a smile. 

I pull off the day feeling lost and lethargic.  'What have I done?'  I think to myself disgusted at my lack of forethought.  'I should have left the bike at the side of the road and caught a taxi to work.'  This though plagues me all day.  I lost an hour at work.  That hour means that I won't be able to dine tonight at my favorite restaurant.  Curse everything that is pretty!

I pedal, pedal, pedal home in the afternoon humidity.  Back into the madness.  Back to my apartment where my bike lays parked, useless to me.  I take it to a mechanic, a maniacal man who looks at me with a smile as he sees me pulling the demon to his shop.  He looks over the bike.  "5500 yen for the repair." He says with a grin in Japanese.  'Not bad.' I think.  Only $72 CND.  I got off lightly.  I gave him the keys and said.  "Daijabu." (O.K.) I was expecting to pay about 8000 yen, but I haven't got the bike back yet.  Damn the man!

back

It is really hot and humid.  It's mind altering weather I tell you.  Trying to keep sane in this heat is a feat for any normal human being.  You jump out of the shower and you don't know if you are drying off the water you just showered in or fresh sweat.  It's going to get hotter.  People walk around in a blind haze trying to seek shade.  Most of the old women walk around with umbrellas with a look of pain on their faces.  'Got to get home and have a cold shower.' Is what they are saying to themselves.

The school I'm working for is a real trip.  The teachers hit the children over the head with books, pinch their faces, kick them, hit them as hard as they can with plastic baseball bats and hit them on their heads with their knuckles.  Falling asleep, not paying attention, talking, forgetting your books and being generally cheeky are reason enough for handing out the extreme punishment.  It is illegal to hit students in Japan but you wouldn't think that was the case the way the teachers act at my school.  It is hard to watch sometimes.  I look away with a disgusted look on my face.  I'm not here to police the teachers but it can be a bit tough.  The students seem to take the punishment well.  They all laugh, embarrassed by being made a spectacle in front of the class.  Oh well, I'm out of there in 6 weeks!  Finished the deal man.  Get out with the cash and run!  The school it self is run down and dirty.  6 stories high holding about 1600 students.  With 45 to 50 students a class it can be a mind drain.

Japan is becoming a bit much for me these days.  I have had enough of the heat, that's for sure.  I guess like all things in life, and all places, you like some parts about it and hate other parts.  I have had a good time here in Japan.  Life has been entertaining.  The kimono wearing  ladies, the hospital masks around peoples faces when they have colds, the tram system that almost kills me everyday, the traffic, the lack of sidewalk space, the over priced food, drinks and entertainment.  It has been an education but I think that maybe it's enough for one lifetime.  Head out and hit the road with new vigor.  Tired of the scene.  Time for a new view man!  I would like to get another abode.  

This apartment is nice but a house, that's where the action is man!  Yes, chill out and crank the music!  Screw the neighbours because you don't have any!  No one down stairs getting drunk and stealing your parking spot!  Damn that man down stairs, smoking cigarettes that Mr. Yakamoto and I have to inhale because the floor between us is like toilet paper man!  I swear I'm going to break through the floor and he'll be directly below looking up at me smoking his cigarette with his  little smeggy cigarette stained yellow fingers and his black lungs infesting my vision man!  I've had it with the man, man!  

The guy next door that lives about 2 feet from our bedroom window is driving me insane too!  Horking up goobers every morning and watching Japanese morning shows at 6AM every damn morning!  Tired of his actions!  He can hork up my butt!  Get a lung transplant man!  Every man about 35 years old smokes about 160 cigarettes a day and that's not an exaggeration, sometimes more!  I swear they have miso soup, rice, a cup of coffee, a can of beer and a pack of cigarettes for breakfast man!  They need to put catalytic converters on their lungs man!

back

I have had an eventful week.  My school wanted me, and all the teachers, to get an x-ray of our chests to look for T.B.  I head off the designated hospital to find out the the x-ray would be taken in the back of a bus in the parking lot of the hospital.  Very strange, I hesitated getting it done buy everyone else was doing it and they assured me it was safe.  Like a lamb to the possible slaughter I went.  The bus was from a private medical institution.  It had a weird scientific symbol on the side of it.  I was like being in a bad movie.  What if when I walked out of the bus I wouldn't be me?  This was going through my mind as I'm undressing in the back of the bus.  I get the results in a month.

I booked my airplane ticket.  First I fly to Tokyo for a 4 day stop over to visit friends and take in Tokyo, then I fly to Vancouver.  I arrive at 10:30 AM.  You all got my e-mail so you know what is expected!  hehe.

We had a costume party at our house last night.  It was great.  You can read all about it at this link.  Good times were had by all.

I'm really hung over right now so this is going to be a short and pleasant entry.